What Is Psychotherapy / Counseling?
The experience you have in counseling will differ from one counselor to another. We all have similar training and are versed in a multitude of theories so that we can adapt our approach to the individual client and their individual needs. There is no One Best Way to do therapy.
I can only speak for myself when I describe my version of therapy. Each therapist is unique just as each client is her/his own kaleidoscope of personality and needs.
That said, here is the foundation that underlies how I view each person I meet.
Counseling is a Conversation
We will be having a conversation. This is much more complex than the doctor-patient relationship in which he probes the client for symptoms to make a diagnosis that hopefully some known medicine or procedure can help to ameliorate. Psychotherapy is not as straightforward, more of an unfolding dialogue. This is a two-sided relationship in which you are just as much an expert on what you need as I am.
It would be easy if the therapist could know exactly what you need to do differently, think differently, to help life flow more smoothly, and to allow for growth. But you will not find YOUR answers entirely from a therapist. We are helpers that know You are your own expert on yourself - what you need, what you need to fix, what your limits are, what you are capable of. I can give you suggestions and knowledge of the habitually-seen patterns we humas fall into that contribute to pain. I hope a bit of this guidance can be applied beneficially to your own life. But we know that therapy is an appointment in your week, and recognize that only You can be the Hero in your own story. You will have to decide, you will have to take action.
Therapy can differ in the level of directiveness, which means that the therapist can be very specific in choosing goals and how to meet them, versus looking to the client to design their own path out of chaos or difficulty. Work with children usually involves some level of therapist-directed change, because children have not developed the same capacity for abstract reflection as adults. However, their unique perspective is still valued, and often what is most important in therapy is simply to join with that child and understand their world with them. Uniting their authentic experience with the caring, more complex perspective of an adult, non-biased therapist can help them to make sense of the world and figure out how to cope best. Even here, the client is appreciated as the guide of therapy and the guide of what needs healed. And I see parents as the expert on their child, and as the ultimate life coach that can help to change painful patterns.
In sum, a therapist is not a wizard with all-knowing, all-seeing eyes that will tell you exactly what's "wrong" with you and how to fix it. If therapy was that simple, you'd be in-and-out in a few minutes. Therapy will take work and critical thinking on the part of both client and counselor. Whenever I can, I'll use my training in habitually destructive human patterns to help understand you and to assist you, but that assistance will be in finding your own brand of healing, your own theory of sanity! Counseling is a two-way conversation. We have equal expertise in how to help your unique life.